Monday, December 30, 2013

The phone rang

I had a bad dream
so did I cry in sleep
I heard whispers among the fog
and the phone rang.

I heard a voice so feeble
it made me cry; like a child did I
it is not the pain troubling him
But his desires to see me.

I saw his pictures. Cancer has eaten his flesh
the strongest man I once knew, how could he fail?
Oh Yama! can't you just wait?
I have his dreams to fulfill.

With his trembling hands
He dreams of blessing my wife
in return a great grandchild would she offer.
My child and him; both with their toothless grin.

The phone rang again
I palpitated. My hands shook and I cried
My Grandfather on his bed
waits for me,more than death.




Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Everything would be perfect

One fine day
Everything would be perfect
While they would put me on my grave..!!

I would smile
for all those odd years spent
I would cry for the days
that I spent heart broken, shattered and depressed
I would smile for every loving memories
Everything would be perfect
While they would put me on my grave..!!

I wonder
If I would remember the girl who loved me
Would I think
about the girl who dumped me
I would
live on the fragments of memories
of my friends and families
Everything would be perfect
While they would put me on my grave..!!

I would have a life
that I littered
With memories good and bad
How meaningful would it look?
For all gained and lost
Everything would be perfect
While they would put me on my grave..!!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

A day for my muse

It was in the late 90's, I was a small kid who knew a little about the world. A senior in my school handed me a book. It was a thick, old one written by a celebrated author of the time ( Little did I know at the time). I spent many study hours reading about a character, "Kumari Shova", a life of a living Goddess after she left the Kumari house ( a residence of a Kumari). The book had a huge influence on me. It gave a little boy figments of imagination.

I spent my school days writing about her. She took birth in the cuddles of my cursive writings and mersmerised the thoughts of many. She grew up through her puberty and she left me( in my childish writings). I therefore declared her death in one of my poems in front of the class. Everyone must have thought how stupid I looked. I must have been a block-headed guy for many. But let me tell you,  I was not. I was searching for my muse. The character no more fascinated me. I saw my friends dating other girls; the real ones. I wrote hell lot of love letters for so many of them. Therefore,  I declared her death to seek my real girl, my fascination for whom I could write tirelessly. My search came to an end on the last day of May. 

Her name comes from "Nakshatra", which means a measurement of solar distances between stars in Hindu astronomy. A search through the Sanskrit literature suggested that her name forms from the word which means a raga or a song.Songs are creative and so is she. She is like the glitter of a diamond that I could follow among the lotus flowers in a pond and seek for her till my body would give up on me. My soul would rise from its ashes and pursue for her. She is eccentric and eternal. She is my muse.

My journey has been a hazy one. The different phases of my life sublimely carved out its definitions on life, love, relationships, success, failures etc; the figurative shape of these artifacts resembles her. I do not know how my perceptions would change in the future, I wish for a time machine. I am astounded by my sheer observation over a period of time which shows that the change in me bluntly resembles the change in her. It does sound like one fucking crazy stuff for many but it's true.

Yes, it was the last day of May when I met her. May, a month of possibilities. With the end of the month, the possibilities to be with her seem to end as well. But my mind does not agree. My words penetrate beyond the possible and search for her in every pages. I have seen people become disrespectful towards their past, I have heard them regret, I have listened to their indignation and have been astonished by how they subdue the voice inside their head. But I fail to do so. I love her the more.

As we sat in the courtyard of the restaurant, she kept staring at the unknown. She was time and again lost in thoughts.As I kept looking at her in awe; I was wondering about the unknown space that existed between us.I do not know if we would meet again but what I know is that till the time I keep writing, my words will pursue her; my instinct would follow her and with her death will my love die. My stories will declare their death and those untold stories would be buried deep inside the grave and be sweetly sang by the knights of the darkness.









Wednesday, April 10, 2013

The Karma- Sutra

So many books have been written, articles published and undoubtedly thousands of influential speakers, inspirational leaders have talked about this. This is not a new topic I am discussing here. You might even wonder what is there that have been left to be discussed about on a topic as vague as "Karma" from an amateur writer. My urge to write on the topic grew strong as I began to see people moving without a sense of direction.

"Karma" in a simple word is an action. Just as we all have read in science textbooks in our school days, each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Thus every being on earth goes through the cause and effect cycle of their deeds as long as they survive. In Hindu mythologies, "Karma" uncovers a being's previous lives and their repercussion on their future lives. "Karma" for this post I am discussing is a karmic sadhana. Yes, I am talking with you all about each individuals day to day lives unlike the ascetic discipline and faith that sadhana evolves around.

From the biggest corporate honchos to the social businesses suffer from the ailment of karma at the present date. There is some news of demeaning actions by admired stakeholders of the societies at every nook and cranny of the globe. "Karma" as an unwavering faith on doing things responsibly and honestly have become an uncommon practice. I would not be surprised if someone says civilization does not exist, what does exists are their skeletons.

Is it so hard to practice honesty? Is it so hard to live together peacefully? Is it so hard to compete fairly? No. Nobody has ever tried to do it as a result of which common things discussed in every religion, in every philosophy has become uncommon today. People live to be presentable to others. " Fake-ism" persists while people resist their true self to come out.

The sutra or the formula to live a blissful life requires living it with honesty, passion and faith. It is all about nurturing the natural characters that we see everyday that animals like Dogs, Birds, elephants etc possess. "Karma- sutra" is all about living with your true self every moment. Life would become peaceful and blissful for everyone if each were to follow the simple characters of integrity, honesty, faith, consistence and devotion.



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Am I right or wrong?

Every person while doing one or another thing is very conscious about what he or she is doing. We all want to perform in a way what people around us call acceptable. These acceptable standards of doing a thing, of living as an individual keeps pulling us; it's like the gravitational pull of a earth. In these past few months, I became a silent observer of this behavior that phenomenally binds a person's freedom to be what he or she could be.

Am I right or wrong? Should I do this or not? Is it good or bad? These are gruesome questions that consume a hell lot of time of an individual. Some people can never come out of this and become a captive, a victim of these questions. Some people are afraid to come out of their comfort zone and these questions are an easy answer and excuses to give. Most convicts, criminals as defined by the laws and social norms try to justify their actions in relation to their perception on these very grounds. But people in their normal walks of life often fail to exploit their potentials; explore their own self because of these very questions.

Right or wrong, good or bad are very relative terms. Every individual without harming others has the full right to exercise their freedom to choose what they feel is right than accepting the righteousness imposed by others. I recently went with a friend for lunch. The African people sitting opposite to our table were taking some bottles of beer. My friend suddenly began to ask me  if it was right to drink. He is a post graduate fellow brought up  in a Brahman( a caste in Hindu religion) family that forbids drinking. I was taken by surprise when he asked me if it was justifiable to drink as our body needs alcohol too to a certain amount. I finally ordered a beer for him. He drank and he was happy. The person I am talking about is always confused; he often stays back because of the fear of being wrong.

Life as we all know comes once. Do net let others define our choices. We stumble, we do fumble and fail, we will make mistakes but until and unless we do not commit mistakes , we will never learn. Keep the opinions and judgement of  society and the people around you at bay and undertake the journey that you always wanted to take. Discover yourself by choosing your own path. The path you choose will pave its own righteous reasons for others.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

My Millenium Girl

I have walked to the far flung areas. I have met people from many different cultures, living styles and treasured a lifetime of memories with me. Every time I  sit to pen down my journey, I remember the travelogues, novels, articles where women and sex are spilled everywhere and I have never even made friend with person of opposite sex during all these times until this day when I talked to her. She is miraculous like my thoughts, like the waves of an ocean, like the soothing cold wind during the dusk. She sometimes appear like a mirage to me. She was always there; sometimes sitting in front of me, sometimes talking to me, chattering, making classes lively. This time, when I am writing, I question myself, I doubt myself, my feelings for her and I do wonder if my purpose after taking so much pains  to be here ends with her.

Yes, It was this beautiful afternoon  when the sky turned black and grey and the cold winds blew; I was relieved  of all the hot and humid weather when the soft droplets of drizzle fell on my hand outside my classroom windows; I was savoring each seconds of that time with joy when someone whispered to me from the back," So, you love rains?" I turned my head to see her. Her eyes sparkled when she spoke, her lips turned into a huge curve of beautiful smiles and the dark dotted freckle in her upper lips made her look like a Madonna of romance. I answered in a very low voice," Yes, I do."

"Master ji, you are too shy". She began to talk playfully.( Everyone in my circle called me Master ji.)

" No. My lady, You have not seen me speak yet."

" O'O, My lady..! When did I become your lady?" She was full of smiles. The conversation started and neither of us knew when to  end it. She loved rains, long long bike rides and adventures. She was living every second of her moments with grace, beauty and acceptance.

I once asked, " Should I write an article on you?"

 "What kind of article?"

"Well, your are liberal, open and people try to take advantage of you.They talk behind your back...." 
She interrupted in before I  could complete my sentence, " Wait, Wait, I know you write well. You are independent to write anything you want. But regarding what you have just said I really do not give a damn."

Yes, She is my millennium girl. She dares to live by her choices. She dreams, she does and she believes at what she does. I have never before met such a girl whose locus of control is so internal. She walks in the herd of wild boys and yet take the control of the reins. She smiles like a princess and orders like mistress. I  am telling you one more time, she is a phoenix who is re-borne everyday in her smiles, bathed in her happiness, soaked in her dreams and as beautiful as a dream. 

As she moves away from me to her destination, I miss her presence.


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A normal boy's diary...

The winter has arrived folks..!! the night has suddenly become cold and windy. I walk out of my chair towards the balcony. As the cold air hits me, I come out to my senses. The basketball courts and the play ground that used to be crowded has no one tonight. I light the cigratte. The curls of white smoke coming out of my mouth goes up and vanishes in the darkness. The memories come alive out of it.

She was always there. A girl twice my size with the same height as mine, she has a fair complexion; a typical Indian look. For the first time, she came to speak to me with a huge smile on her face, I was dumbfounded. I was not prepared for such warm response. She was like some character out of movies who could easily mingle with anyone she wished to. The new work groups and the new faces kept appearing and one day some guys came and stole her public presence to their private ecstasy. Some of those who used to walk with her and couldn't get a space for themselves amongst her  new close-knit circle would often call her a slut. Ah..! what a beautiful way of defining oneself. When a person starts defining another person, s/he actually defines himself/herself.

I still didn't bothered about her. One day the supervisor gave us group work and she became a part of it. She came to discuss the matters while I was probing her. Why is the  plain, open, liberal girl like her called 'slut' by everyone? whomsoever I met would talk about her. What attracted so much frustration and negative criticisms against her? Oh yes, the size of her breasts were always brought into attention by anyone at anytime without it's having any relation with the topic or the circumstances.For the first time, I found her beautiful with her improperly threaded eyebrows, the brown eyes that became smaller and smaller as she spoke with me. I liked her.

Well, When I say 'I like her'. It does not mean 'I love her'. love is a very independent phenomenon. It is not the choice, it is the destiny when two independent people meet together. This meeting should be able to establish a strong foundation of mutual understanding, care and unconditional giving without expecting anything in return.  

As I sat down with my laptop in my apartment, I had nothing in my mind other than one desire to complete the given task. How on earth was I supposed to know that a few hours of chat would change the pattern of  spending my time? As I started to talk with her on Facebook , we inquired as much as we could about each other that the national spying agencies would appear dismal in front of the information we extracted out of each other. She was irresistible. She went offline to go to sleep while I remained fathomless throughout              the night.

She was beautiful with her imperfections. We began to share casual gestures at times, spoke openly. She was not the one to wait for anything. She was too quick at establishing relations and moving out of it.  My eyes followed each steps she took in the floor we worked; I kept searching for ways when I could see her without her knowing it. I became a lost soul. confused soul. Not a week had passed and there were rumors she is having an affair again. Those boys attached with the fresh rumors claim to have loved the way 'she was whoring around' with them. I was thunderstruck by their opinions.  Was it happening because she was letting it happen ? I wonder why did she find it cool to hang out with guys who never spoke good of her.

Every ordinary guys like me would have a similar story to share.Even these small things create a great despair among poor souls. The grief brought by these small incidents shape and mold a person's perception that emerges out of incapability to be with the girl and the next time he sees that girl again he might also say ,'She is a slut' but I cannot call her so as I value each individuals' choice and decisions. My thoughts swing like the pendulum of a clock between illusion and reality. Somewhere deep inside, I want my mind to believe that she will take her time and one day she will be mine...!!

The cold air hits me hard this time. I light the other cigratte. I am numb as I do not know where I stand. She keeps coming in my mind while the rest of the world goes to sleep. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Discovering oneself..!!

 Its been months since I left home. It was a decree of my heart. It was a sort of a  self imprisonment of two years inside the four walls of a house, a few friends and a limited time for fresh air nearby Raaniban ( a forest name under Shivapuri National Park). The end week of July, my heart decided to roam freely, on my own. I wanted to be that same old guy who enjoyed every seconds of his life, who was carefree of the opinions of the world, who believed in oneself more than anything else, who believed in love and care for others and most important of all I was the one who was never exhausted of giving. At the time, I am typing these words, In this wonderland of India, I know that I am carving my own life. Before I realize anything, Its been months I have been here.

A rucksack, one sleeping bag, few clothes, few amounts of money, few phone numbers and a bus ticket; Was that enough for me to undertake this journey? No. More than anything else, I had faith in the journey I was making. The process of self discovery should start alone.

 The world has become too ambitious. People see competition everywhere and they keep pushing. But despite all the efforts and investment, how many people succeed? We all know the answer. Very few. What is the difference between those people who succeed and those who end up living in the miseries of their memories? May be the difference lies in the process of pushing oneself while exploring our potentials. The ones who have been successful always claimed to have listened to their hearts, to their hunches, to their innermost voice. Can we call this a process of self discovery?

I had everything there. My back was against my walls. I have the most loving and supportive parents, a brother who is always there behind me, friends I can count on. But the fire was missing.  The fiery me was long dead. The drive, the passion was no more. Once again, I needed to come out of my family cocoon. Before I knew which road lies ahead of me, I have already passed days, weeks and months here. The process of self discovery is a journey of belief.

I was leap frogging. I have started jumping. Its been months I have been walking  in the sweltering heat and the sudden downpours in the vast areas of Punjab. I have met families whom I can call my own, I have met new faces whom I can call my friends. I can get lost in a crowd without being noticed. I have to be  as humble as a hermit. I can at times make faces and  wink at the beautiful ladies who pass by without noticing me. I am living many facets of my life at the same time. I can grumble at no one, no one to complain with. I am learning to solve the problems at hand rather than waste my time. Yes, I have started jumping at feet lengths of self- love, self confidence, self discovery.

I do not know how long will I stay in India. My journey has just begun. There are vast areas of land to travel,  many mountains to trek, many people to meet. We all know future is uncertain. Living with joy among those uncertainties and making the most of my present is what shapes me. There is a long way to go....!!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The most beautiful creation

I have been thinking about the most beautiful creation on earth. I wanted to write something on the topic.The more I ponder over the subject, the more confusing it appears. I have read and heard at innumerable instances that ' People are the most beautiful creation of God'. I repeated this term again and again and yet I could not believe it. This does not mean people are not beautiful or my perception about people have become something else. My focus suddenly changed from people to God. This letter word "GOD", who created this term ?

I do not know if God exists but I believe in God as an unknown entity who is behind all the creations.Since nobody has been able to identify with the cause of creation of this magnificent earth, the universe ; I bestow this term 'God' to that unknown reason behind it.

I have never understood religion.Whenever someone says 'God', they immediately attach it to religion. Suddenly, this beautiful word 'God' used to appear gruesome, unstable.powerless, frightful to me. I once read a friend's status in facebook ,"God is the greatest lie to humanity". Is God a lie?

I can with my head held high, with my undaunting pride cry aloud to the world that "God" is the most beautiful creation on earth. No beings, no substance, no feeling appear as beautiful as "God".

Religion for me is an attempt of the humans with lust for power to rule.When the term God came into existence, stories were built upon it. These stories were different according to the people, the geography, their way of living and so on. So the shape,size, colour, nature and nurturing the beliefs on God became different. Therefore, people in different places had different Gods. I believe that those storytellers and their bastions suddenly found a reason to be superior than those who merely heard them with interest and reverence.So they divided these different Gods into religions. This division was not enough to rule. The caste and traditions came into existence to help them establish their norms. Every country's history therefore has 'priests' as the agent of power. It holds equally true at present time as well.

God is such an irresistible word. Every human is so accustomed to it. It has an aroma that suddenly brings peace of mind, stirs ones thought patterns, instills hope in the hopeless; courage to the fearful and has at many instances discouraged much evil on earth.

Detach "God" from religion and all the walls between people will fall down. The mankind will come into unison. The world will become free of almost all the evils caused by religion in the name of God.

"God" is above all the most beautiful creation. 



Tuesday, May 22, 2012

मेरो देश खोज्दै

सडकहरू सुन-सान छन । सुर्यदेवलाई धन्यबाद् दिन्छु । मेरा कानहरू बिहान-बेलुकी सडक, पत्रिका, टि.भी, रेडियोमा गुन्जिने आवाजहरूले कसो बहिरा भएनन् ।  सबै जातले आफ्नो आफ्नो राज्य माग्दै गर्दा म यो चर्को घाममा मेरो देश खोज्दै छू ।

मेरो देश जहाँ म ब्राह्मनको छोरो, छिमेकी राईनी आमैलाई ठुली आमै भनेर पुकार्थें । पल्लो कोठामा जाडको घ्याम्पो हुन्थ्यो र वल्लो कोठामा मलाइ दुध चिउरा दिन्थिन । उनी परलोक गएको ८-१० बर्ष भो, उनसंगै मेरो देश'नी कता गयो कता !    मेरो देशमा कहाँ लेक मा कुनै एउटा मान्छे मर्दा, बेसिमा हाम्रा बौ-बाजे गनगन् गर्थे । मानो- पाथी थियो, K.G  भन्ने थाहा थिएन  । झुपडी थिए, पक्का घर मुस्किलले भेटिन्थ्यो । गरीब थिए तर पेट भोको कसैको थिएन । ठुला- ठुला परिवार हुन्थे, सानो परिवार सुखी परिवार भन्ने थिएन । पाउरोटी सुनेका थियौं, खान हुन्न भन्थे । मकैको रोटी या कोदाको ढीडो जिब्रो फट्काइ-फट्काइ खान्थ्यौं । बा'ले शहर घुमाउन ल्याउदा झिलिमिली थियो, रमाइलो थियो । शहर सफा  थियो । बागमती नी नुहाउन लगे; हाम्रो गाऊँको खोलो जस्तै सफा थियो ।

हा ! मेरो देश, कठै ! मेरो देश । गर्छु भन्नेले नी' गरि खान पाउने भएनन् । हरेक दिन बन्द छ, चर्का नाराहरू छन् । गर्मीले पोल्न थालेपछी म एउटा रुखको छहारिमा बस्न खोज्छु । एउटा पागल छेउमै बसेर फत्फताउदै थियो । मलाइ देखेपछी उ झन् झन् चर्को स्वोरले कराउन थाल्यो । अरु दुई चार रमितेहरू कुरा सुन्न थपिए ।

"मेरो राज्य ६०१ दलालहरूले बेच्दै छन् । तीनलाई तैं चोरहरूले देश् बेच्न पठाएको हो । त्यहाँ नाइके जति सब ब्राह्मन जातको छ बुझिस । " म स्तब्ध भएँ । कोइराला, भट्टराई, दाहाल, पौडेल, वली, नेपाल जस्ता केहीले ब्राह्मनको परिभासा फेरिदिएछन । ब्राह्मन कुनै जात होईन । ब्राह्मन सत्य हो, ब्राह्मन भक्तिमा लिप्त हुनुको अवस्था हो । ब्राह्मन ज्ञान हो, तत्वबोध हो ।   जो ब्राह्मन हो, उसका लागि जिब, निर्जिब सब समान हो । मैले भनेको छु, म ब्राह्मनको छोरो हो, स्वयम् ब्राह्मन होईन । 

"  सुक्रे पनि त यही रहेछ ।"   त्यहि हुलबाट परिचित अनुहारहरू देखा पर्छन । चिनेकाहरूले सुक्रे भनेर बोलाउछन । सुक्रात पनि बहुलाहा जस्ता थिए रे, म नी त्यस्तै छु रे ! म रातो पिरो हुन्छु । मनमनै डर लागेर आउछ । कतै देश खोज्नु पागलपन त होईन ? मलाइ अब यिनले थाहा पाए भने के  भन्लान् ?  

   साना- साना भुराहरूलाई बाबु- राजा भन्छन्, आइस्यो र गैस्यो भन्न सिकाउछन यो सहरमा । हाम्रा गाऊमा बेलुका आगनको डीलबाट " ए राडी- मुर्दारहो तिमीहरूलाई घिच्न पर्दैन ? छिट्टो मर त" भनेर खाना खान बोलाउछन अधिकान्स आमाहरू । तर शहरका बाबु- राजाहरूमा न बा- आमा प्रति, न समाज प्रति न देश प्रति कुनै लगाव छ । हाम्रा गाऊका राडी- मुर्दार धेरै जिम्मेवार र परिपक्व छन् । ती पनि म जस्तै "एकादेस"को मेरो देश खोज्दै होलान् । के म लगायत ती सबै पागल होलान् त ?

मेरो देश नेताहरूको जातिय राजनितीको हतीयार बन्दै छ । म कोँगो, रुवान्डाको जातिय द्वन्दका दर्दनिय कथाहरू सम्झन थाल्छु । म भाव सुन्य हुन्छु ।

  "ओइ सुक्रे भाई कता हिंडेको । अनी कतै नहेरी हिंडेको छौ त ?" लामा दाइको पसल अगाडी आइपुगेछु । डल्ले- डल्ले यी दाई, तमाङ लामा हुन् । यो सहरमा पढ्न बसेदेखी साँझपख गफ गर्दै चुरोट खाने गर्छौ हामी । अरु पनि बन्दले गर्दा त्यहि आएका रहेछन् । चुरोटको धुवा संगै जीवनका सूख- दु:ख देखि बाटोमा हिड्ने तरुनीलाई संगै बसेर जिस्काउदै धेरै बर्षका साँझहरू यहाँ बितेको छ ।  

 "त्यो संबिधान सभा भवनमा गएर बम पद्काइदिउ न ।" छेउमै उभिएका फर्निचर पसलका मधेसी दाईले कुरो अगाडी बढाए । त्यहाँ नी' मेरो देश खोज्दै रहेछन् सबै ।

" त्यसो गर्नु हुन्न । त्यति राम्रो भवन छ । नेपालमा फेरि त्यस्तो भवन बनाउने कोहि राम्रो मान्छे जन्मेला जस्तो छैन । तीनलाई देश निकाला गर्नु पर्छ ।" अर्का लोकसेवामा खर्दारको जाँच दिएर बसेका मास्टर साप बोले ।

"हाम्रो सुक्रे भाईको केही भन्नु छ की ?" त्यसै घरका घरबेटी दाईले सोधे ।

"मेरो देशको साशनको बागडोर  जनताको हाथमा हुनुपर्छ दाइ । दुई चारवटा पार्टीको काने-खुसिको भरमा राज्य चलिरह्यो भने यो भन्दा धेरै दुखदायी दिनहरू आउनेछन ।" म यति भन्दै चुप रहिरहे । सबै स्तबध भए । मौन स्विक्रिती जनाए । शायद म जस्तै यी पनि आफ्नो देश खोज्दै छन् ।  







              
       

Friday, May 11, 2012

Most Unwanted People

I do not like politics. Being a citizen of a country where politicking is an essential component for people from all walks of life; every circumstances encourages a person here to hate politics, to believe that it is a dirty game.Should I change my opinion? How would it look like if I try seeing it from a different perspective? I have been asking these questions for  few days.

The impingement of wrong political values in every spheres of Nepalese society have set forth wrong notion against politics among a  mass. We have been cheesed off by political diaspora of the country. The recent rise of bandhs( strike) and the voices coming from behind these suggest a political turmoil of a different nature. I have this inkling, if Nepal is going to be a sort of GUJARAT of India. I am getting negative vibes now.

"One of the poorest, land locked , capital locked countries of the world". To add further to the woes  of this description, a  threat of rise in the tribal/ethnic riots. 

I do not have a foggiest idea in my mind for any positive change. How do we get rid of this then? Well, let us all declare the 601 members of the constituent assembly as the " Most unwanted people of the country". 

What further can we do then? Well, get rid of everything that is hindering our progress. Throw away the government, end  the  bureaucracy and liberate the nation. By doing so, I am starting to believe that our nation will no more be landlocked or capital locked. We will not have to set targets to bring in a million tourists. We will not have to worry about poverty and unemployment.  
Nepal with an open border between India and China can clearly call an attention of the world. With a hassle free country to move about, a market that can cater to more than half of the population of the world; I wonder who would not want to invest here.

I often thought about the security of our nation. Well, with all the mighty powers settling in my land to cater to the largest market of the world. With millions of people moving in and out of my country; the presence of the international community would be too strong. I wonder, who would really dare to encroach our territory.  

We will not have state mechanism to meddle with people's affairs. No politicians to blame for the deficiencies of the market. Yes, there will be inefficiency. But we will have options to choose. Our choice; the choice of the market will correct them. Ah! what a beautiful and prosperous country Nepal would be. 

Did I say I do not like politics? Politics rule the roost of all the things we consume. But we do not need the huge number of dumb people that consume all the resources and energy . They are our biggest expenses.   Let  us  begin with the first step; declare the 601 as the " Most unwanted people " of our nation.


Monday, May 7, 2012

Death of a street boy


He is dead
and now he lay at rest
there upon that little bed of dirts
his solemn stillness, the calm face looked as though to smile
Because for him,
to live was no great.

He is gone for a sleep so deep
into that slumber so beautiful
with no trace of pains, din and bustle to bear
so majestic a sleep can be
no superiors might have ever slept
the cold stiff body,calm expressionless face
seemed to tell me
He always dreamt of beautiful deaths.

So fresh a creature he looks
as he used to be when he trotted around
among the heap of dirts beside my house
embedded with elations when he found tin cans and metals
that day he would laugh gaily
to all those who looked with such coldness as he is today.

As the dusk prepares to welcome the night
Many street pupil begin to come
the bodies in rags cried a lot
There among the crowd were also the gentlemen
Drivers stopped by, people dismounted from their cars to take a look
But then someone said
"Ah! what a beautiful sleep
no God might have ever slept".

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

उध्रिएका सपना


उध्रिएका सपना
   सिलाउने के ले हो
गैसकेको  बैंस
   फर्काउने कस्ले हो ।।

दौतरि त पाखा लागे
   भेट्ने  कसलाई हो
ब्यथाहरू गाठो परे
   सुनाउने कसलाई हो ।।

गीतहरू लेखेको
   गुन-गुनाउने कस्ले हो
मदिराको प्याला
  साथ् दिने कस्ले हो ।।

Monday, March 26, 2012

शुभ बोल बोल

बिहान सवेरै यसो हाथ-खुट्टा तन्काउन रानिबनतिर हिड्दै थिएं । टहलिंदा टहलींदै घाम निधारसम्म आइपुगेछ । घर तीर लम्किए । घर आइपुग्दा आमा कौसीबाट कराउंदै हुनु हुन्थ्यो । गेट छेउमै उभिएको बिजुलीको खा'मोमा बसेर काग कराइ रहेको थियो । " हा ! हा ! शुभ बोल बोल ", आमा कराउंदै कागलाई धपाउने कोशिश् गर्दै हुनु हुन्थ्यो ।  काग एकोहोरो चर्को चर्को सँग कराउंदै थियो ।


मेरो ध्यान कागतिर गएन । सृस्‍टिले उसमा दिएको गुण अनुरुप चलिरहेको थियो, त्यसमा के दोस कागको ? हाम्रो धार्मिक संस्कारनै केलाउने हो भने पनि, काग यमको सन्देस बाहकको भूमिका अटुट रुपमा निभाउदै जब काग दिनभर घर नछोडी कराएको केही दिनमा मेरि हजुरआमा बित्नुभो' मलाइ कागले बहन गरिरहेको एउटा जिम्मेवारी प्रति ईस्र्या लाग्यो  

 तर मान्छे !...मान्छेले  मेरो ध्यान  तानिरह्यो । एक अर्कालाई मार्ने मान्छे, काट्ने मान्छे, एउटा  मान्छेको सबैभन्दा डरलाग्दो दुश्मन अर्को मान्छे । जहाँ जान्छु, जो सँग बोल्छु; अर्को मान्छेको कुरा काट्नमा ब्यस्त छ मान्छे, अर्को ब्यक्तिलाई खसाल्नमा ब्यस्त छ अधिकांस मान्छेको सोंच ।  मैले सोंचे," शुभ बोल बोल " त मान्छेलाई सबैभन्दा पहिले भन्नु जरुरी रहेछ । मैले त सुरु पनि गरिसकें । म काहीँ जाँदा,कसैसँग बोल्दा पहिले आफ्नो लागि अनी आफूसँग वार्तालापमा सहभागी हुनेहरुका लागी  म त भनि हाल्छु " शुभ बोल बोल" । 

सबैको सोँच शुभ रहोस, सबका वाणी शुभ रहुन । धन्य काग...!!!              






    

Friday, March 9, 2012

नारी दिवस अनि मेरो आफ्नै गन्थनहरू ..

अन्तरास्ट्रिय नारी दिवस । हिजै बेलुका देखि लेख्छु भन्दा भन्दै आज बेलुका भयो । के लेखुँ ,मनभरी कुराहरु छन् । दुई दिन देखि आफ्नै अन्तर-कुन्तरमा बहस चलेको चल्यै छ ।  अधिराज्यका पढे-लेखेका महिलाहरू, स्वभिमानी महिलाहरू, श्रीमानका पद र पैसाको तुजुक देखाउन पाएका महिलाहरू, श्रीमान र परिवारलाई पालिरहेका महिलाहरू, सुकिला- मुकिला देखिने महिलाहरू अनि मिठा- मिठाइ लाग्ने नारी दिवसमा घुलेका महिला सशक्तिकरनका अवाजहरु , समानताका अवाजहरू, अवसर र चुनौतिका लागि  गुन्जिरहेका अवाजहरू ।

तर कति बुलन्द छन् त यी अवाजहरू ? के यी अवाजहरू अस्ति भर्खरै 'बोक्सि'को आरोपमा आफ्नै गोठछेउ निर्घात कुटाइ खाइ, जलाएर मारिएकी महिलाको गाऊँमा पुग्छन् । पुग्दैन भने अझै जोडले कराउनु पर्‍यो, त्यसो गर्न सकिदैंन भने बन्द गरिद्नु यी अवाजहरू ।  मेरि अस्ति भर्खरै ९४ बर्षको उमेरमा बित्नु भएकी हजुराआमाले सुन्नुभएको भए सबैलाई यही भन्ने थिईन । कर्म गरेपछी नतिजा आउदैन भने त्यस्ता कर्म गर्नेलाई झटारो हान्थिन मेरि मामाघरे हजुरआमा । 

 नारी अदित्तिए प्रेम, धैर्य र प्रकृतिको स्वरूप हुन । यो कुरा पुस्तौँदेखी हाम्रा शास्त्रमा लेखिएर आएको छ । मैले पनि स्कुल पढ्दा घोकेको दुई लाइन  याद् आयो :   " यत्र नारी यस्तु पुज्यन्ते:  
                                                                          रमन्ते तत्र देवता "।
जहाँ नारीको पूजा हुन्छ, त्यहा देवता पनि रमाउछन ।   मन्दिरै मन्दिरको शहर भएको हाम्रो देशमा, श्रद्धालुहरूको ओइरो लाग्ने हाम्रो देशमा, देवता रमाएका छन् की छैनन् ? म नित्से होईन तर मेरो यो प्रश्न हरेक जिम्मेवर नागरिक माथी तेर्सौउदै छु ।  जुन देशमा "छाउपेडी"मा एउटा महिलाको रजस्वलाको समयमा मृत्‍यु हुन्छ, जहाँ जिम्मेवार पदमा आसिन पतीबाट निहत्था श्रीमती मरिन्छिन, दाइजोका नाममा अझै शोषन हुन्छ,बोक्सी बनाई बनाइ मार्छन, अर्धाङी भनि भनि बैबाहिक हिन्सा, अत्याचार,मानसिक प्रताडना दिन्छन्, के त्यहा तिम्रा देवता खुशी होलान् ? जुन मन्दिरहरूमा देवता खुशी छैनन्, बन्द गर जान ती  मन्दिर?   

  मैले मन्दिरको मर्म बुझेको छैन । नेपाल र भारतका प्राय मन्दिर घुमे तर मैले मेरो देवता भेटिन । साधुहरूसँग बसें, सन्तहरूसँग हिंडे, गँगोत्रीमा घन्टौसम्म कुर्दा पनि मैले जवाफ नपाएपछी रिसले चुर भएर हींडेथे । घर आइपुग्दा प्रेमले मुसार्दै मेरो छोरो कहाँ पुगेर आयौ भन्दै निक्लेकी मेरि "आमा" मा मेरो देवता पाएँ । म नास्तिक होईन किनकी अस्ति भर्खर बितेकी मेरि हजुरआमा जै'ले बिदा हुने बेला आँगनमा मलाई म्वाइ खाँदै खुसुक्क मेरो गोजीमा पैसा हालिदिन्थिन अनि उनको जोडी आँखाबाट थोपा थोपा आसुँ पालै पिलो चाउरी परेका गाला हुँदै कलेटी परेर सुकेका ओठसम्म आइपुग्थे । मेरो देवता त्यतिखेर भेटें  ।

  ' नारी दिवस कसका लागि मनाउछौ ? अवाज भएका महिलाहरू जस सँग स्वर छैन तीनको स्वोर बन अनि जोड जोडले चिच्याउ ताकि पहराहरू पछाडि लुकेका झुपडीहरूमा सुर्यदय भन्दा पहिले तिम्रा अवाजहरू गुन्जिउन ! सक्दैनौ भने बन्द गर अवाजहरू........!!! ',    हा ! आज क्रान्ति ओकल्दै छ मेरो कलमले पनि ! 

   तर साँचै नै परिवर्तन् देख्नु छ भने हरेक अवसर पाइरहेका महिलाहरूले आँफै बाट सुरु गर्नु पर्दछ । तब मात्र परिवर्तनको सन्देसका सम्बाहक बन्न सक्दछन् । नेपालि चेलीहरू पुरुष जस्तै साउदीमा छन्, लिब्यामा छन्, अमेरिका अनि यूरोपमा छन् । फेसबूकमा एउटा फोटोमा 'बिकिनी'मा देखिएकी मेरि केटी साथि अर्को फोटोमा त्यतिक्कै सुन्दर 'सारीमा' सजिएर फोटो हाल्छे अनि म दंग पर्छु ! नेपालमा परिवर्तन र अधुनिकिकरन त आएको छ तर केही न्युन प्रतिसतमा सिमित छ । मेरा अघिल्ला कुराहरुमा बिरोध प्रकट पक्कै गरेको होईन । म चाहन्छु नारी दिवस साँचै देशका हरेक नारीहरूको पर्व बनोस् जहाँ हरेक नारी समान रूपले सीक्षीत र आफ्नो जीवनको निर्णय स्वयमले गर्ने सक्ने अधिकार र स्वतन्त्रताले ले सम्पन्न होउन् !   

        

            

Thursday, February 16, 2012

रटान लगाउने सुगाहरू..!

"ए दाई ! कोपी कृष्ण काउ  , कोपी कृष्ण काउ  !"

 छिमेकी अंकलको घरमा छिर्न नपाउँदै पट्टु कराउन थाल्यो । सधैं यसरी नै कराउंथ्यो । त्यो कुरा राम्ररी बोल्न सकोस भनेर बेला बेलामा रातो खुर्सानी ख्वाउने गरेको मैले पनि देखेको छु । तर आज खस खस लागिरह्यो । कता कता मन बिझाइरह्यो  । 

हा ! हा ! क्या दशा यो ! म देशैभरी सुगाहरू देख्न थाल्छु । यी थरी थरिका सुगाहरू, रङी- चंगी सुगाहरू, ज्ञानले बलेका जस्ता सुगाहरू, पैसाले पुरिएका जस्ता सुगाहरू ;   राष्ट्रिय राजनितीमा हैकम जमाइरहेका , शिक्षामा , स्वास्थ्यमा, सुरक्षामा । कहाँ छैनन् यी सुगाहरू ?   सुगाहरू मेरो राष्ट्रको  नशा-नशामा, गरा-गरामा बसेका छन् । राष्ट्रिय मकैबारी भुसुक्कै पार्दै छन् ।

 हेर्दा हामि जस्तै बोल्छन । हाम्रै बिच बस्छन । मौका पाउने बित्तिकै काधमै चद्छन् ।  यी कुनै दक्षिणतिर , कुनै उत्तर त कुनै सात समुन्द्र पारीबाट धेरै समयपछी आएका हून रे ! त्यतै यिनलाई खुर्सानी खुवाएर येस्ता भाषा बोल्न सिकाएका रे ! यी सुगाहरू कोहि पूँजीवाद , कोहि समाजवाद, कोहि माओबाद ,कोही खुल्ला अर्थतन्त्र लगयतका दुनियाँ मन्त्र उच्चारण गर्छन् । एउटै कुराको रटान लगाउछन् । 

  यी सुगाहरू आफ्नो समाजमा भन्दा धेरै खुर्सानी दिनेहरू तिरै धेरै बस्छन् । यिनको जीवन सैलि अधिकान्स तेस्तै छ ।  जब जब राष्ट्रमा बाली-नाली लगाउन थालिन्छ, तब तब यी सुगाहरू रटान लगाउछन् । यिनको 'कोपी कृष्ण कौ' ले हामी आजित भएका छौँ ! 

   राष्ट्र बिकासका नीम्ति हाम्रो आफ्नो समाजका इस्थापित आधारहरूलाई एउटै समानन्तर धागोमा उनेर लैजन सक्ने क्षमता चाहिन्छ । त्यो कुनै रटान, कुनै सिद्धान्तले जोत्दैमा , त्यस्ता मल हाल्दैमा बाली सप्रिदैन । हाम्रो इस्थानिय भु-बनोट , त्यस्को अनुसन्धान पर्याप्त मात्रामा हुन अझै सकेको छैन । गर्नेहरू थोरै छन् ? खुर्सानी खाएर ओकल्नेहरू धेरै छन् । 

   आज त्यसै त्यसै सुगा देखि घ्रिणा लागेर आयो । के कुरा गर्न आएको थिए भुसुक्कै बिर्सेछु !    

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2012 लाई स्वागत गर्दै.... !

घर आउँदा बत्ति थिएन । राजधानीको बाटोभरी नयाँ बर्षको एउटा अलग्गै रौनक थियो, उत्साह थियो । साज-सज्जा गरेर घर बाहिर निक्लिएका जमातहरू प्रसस्तै थिए ;कोही साथीहरूसँग, कोहि आफन्तहरूसँग, कोहि परिवारसँग र त्यो हूलहरूको बिचमा म एक्लै रमाउदै ती सबैसँग रमाएको थिए । लेख्न मन त धेरै छ । बत्ति आउने बित्तिकै कम्प्युटर अगाडी बसेर टाईप गर्न थालेको छू ; मन भरी रहेका कुराहरु मन्थन गर्दै छू आएको बर्ष २०१२ लाई स्वागत गर्दै छू ।             

बितेको बर्ष तपाईंहरूको कस्तो रह्यो ? शायद सबैकालागि केही तितो, केही मिठो ; केही अलि धेरै लडे होलान्, पछारिए होलान तर उठ्नु ठुलो कुरा हो । उठेर नयाँ हौसलाका साथ डटेर, दत्तचित्त भएर, अझ मिहिनेत र लगनका साथ अगाडि बढ्ने अबसर लिएर तपाइहरुका लागि नयाँ बर्ष आएको छ । केही अली धेरै सफल भएका होलान्, २०११ भरी गम्कियेर, फुर्ती र उच्च मनोबल बोकेर हिंड्न पाएका होलान् । २०१२ नयाँ चुनौतीहरू, अझ अर्को बर्षको खुशीहरू,सफल्ताका गाथाहरूमा अर्को नयाँ सफल बर्ष जोड्ने मौका दिनलाई आएको छ ।               

जीबन त एबम् रितले अगाडि बढिरहन्छ । कसैले केही पाउछन, कसैले केही गुमाउछन । पाउनु र गुमाउनुको होडमा हामी कति रोयौँ होला, कति हास्यौँ होला । कति बिरक्तिएर जाडमै चुर्लुम्म डुब्यौँ होला, ब्यथाहरू चुरोटको धुवासंगै सल्काएर पियौँ होला । कैले सूख त कैले दु:खमा मौका खोजी खोजी जीवनलाई आफ्नै अनुकुल परिभासित गर्दै पियौँ । सन् २०१२ सबैका लागि जीवन पिउने अर्को बर्ष लिएर आएको छ ।  

  सन् २०११ मेरा लागि पनि मैले माथी भने जस्तै रह्यो । कैले मैले दुई पला जिए, कैले पलले मलाई पियो । अली अली खुशीहरू दियो, अली अली दु:ख पनि । मिसावट जीवनको सत्य हो जस्तो लाग्छ । साचैँ कसैको जीवन चोखो दु:ख , बिसुद्ध खुशी मात्र छैन । जीवन सबकालागि दुधमा पानी, खान-पानमा बिसादी जस्तै छ । मेरो लागि यस्तै याबत् अनुभुतीहरू दिएर २०११ले आँगन छाडेको छ । तर मिसावटको   प्रभाबलाई कम गर्ने उपाय मैले भट्टीमा सिकेर आएँ । व्हिस्कीमा पानी र कागती मिसाए  जस्तै आफ्नो जीवनमा हाँसो र उमंग मिसाउने प्रयास निरन्तर गर्नुपर्छ । एउटा द्रिढ विश्वाश र शान्त- शुशिल मन भए ,२०१२ पक्कै पनि धेरै खुशी , थोरै दु:ख होला ।  
  
आँखा गाढिएको छ, निद्राले गाँज्न थाल्यो । आजकै जस्तो माहौल बनिरहोस् । हरेक दिन बाटोभरी हाँसेका, खुले-खिलेका मुहारहरू देख्न पाऊँ । २०१२ लाई म पनि तपाईंहरू जस्तै स्वागत गर्दै छू । 

Sunday, December 25, 2011

मन चर्ने सैलुङ् .....

बितेको हप्ता काम थिएन तर फुर्सद पनि भएन । वीज्ञान प्रबिधीले आम मान्छेको दैनिक जीवनमै उथल-पुथल ल्याइदिएको छ । काम नहुदा मनले चर्ने सैलुङ् खोज्यो । त्यसैले सबैभन्दा राम्रो फेसबूक नै रोज्यो । कुरा गर्ने साथी त धेरै थिए तर मन आम जिन्दगीका कुरा उघ्राउने पक्षमा थिएन । समयले तित्कताहरू सुपाच्य बनाइदिएको छ । त्यसैले फेसबूकमा चाहर्दा एक परिचित अनुहार देखें । मन न्यानो भो । दुबिधा त थियो; वास्तै नगर्ने हो की ? तर मनले के टेर्थ्यो ! त्यसैले फ्रेन्ड रिक्वेस्ट पठाएँ ।  

उस्को profile हेर्दै थिए । केही पुराना यादहरू ताजा भो'।  केही बर्ष पहिले उसलाई देखेको थिएँ कुनै एउटा कार्यक्रममा ; शायद रात्री भोज थियो । त्यसबेला पनि मैले देखेको, भेटेको, चिने-जानेको हुलमा उ अलग्ग थी'। म भन्दा करिब करिब दुगुना मोटी थी' तर राम्री थी'। उसका ठुल-ठुला आँखाहरू गाजल लगाएको डिलबाट यसरी हेर्थे की कोही पनि मान्छे मुघ्द हुन्थ्यो । सलक्क परेको अनुहारमा सानो थुम्को जस्तो उस्को उठेको नाकको डाडी, मिलेका आँखी भौ, खैरो रंग हल्का छरेको कुम कुमसम्म आएको कपाल अनि म्रिदुल बोली; म त लठ्ठै परेको थिएँ ।  नाम पनि उस्को हाँसोमा टपक्कै बसेको,"क्रितिका" ।    

 उसले मेरो अनुरोध स्विकारिछ', chat boxमा   उसको नाम अगाडी हरियो थोप्लो देखियो । के गरि कुरा सुरु गरुं ? आपत् पर्‍यो ! एकछीन उसको फोटोहरू हेर्न थालें । उ त उस्तै रहिछ'। हुन त देख्नलाई म पनि उस्तै छु तर समयसँगको घम्सा-घम्सिमा मन बद्लियो, बिचार बद्लियो । कतिले यसैलाई परिपक्वता भन्दा रहेछन् । म चाँही यो बद्लाबलाई समयले छाडेको दागको टाटाहरू भन्छु । के क्रितिका अझै पनि उस्तै गम्की-गम्की हाँस्न सक्ने हो ली' ?  उ' बारे अनेक कौतुहुलताहरू मनमा पैदा हुँदै हराउदै थिए । रोमनमा टाईप हान्दै झ्वाट्ट सोधें," के छ "?
 "Do I know you"?  उसले प्रश्न तेर्स्याइ हाली'। एकछीन अक्मक्क परें । एकचोटी लामो सास फेरें अनि टाईप गर्न थालें ।   
 "म त रेडियो भनेपछि हुरुक्कै हुन्छु । तिमीलाई धेरै पैले' एउटा प्रोग्राममा देखेको थिएँ " । 
 "ए ए " । उसले छोटो उत्तर दी' । सम्बाद त्यहीं रोकिएला जस्तो भो' । मनमा कुराहरु अठेस-मठेस हुन थाले ।
 जसो तसो कुरा गर्दा गर्दै रातको १२ बजेछ' । समयले नेटो काटेको पत्तै पाइएन । उसले एक्कासी," Good Morning !..hahaha "   लेखेर पठाई तब पो चाल पाएँ ।  तर न त उसलाई निद्राले छोएको थियो न त मलाई नै । ठट्टा गर्दा गर्दै मनका धेरै कुराहरु एक अर्कामाथी बिसाइय'छ । उ पनि कहाँ बद्लाबबाट अछुतो थी'र । त्यस रात २ बजेसम्म गफ गरिय'छ । हर रात त्यसरी नै गफ गरियो । बेलुकी पख फेसबूकमा बस्दा उसको नामको अगाडी हरियो थोप्लो नदेखे मनमा एैठन पर्न थाल्यो । यो ठन्डीको रातहरूमा पनि मनले चर्ने न्यानो सैलुङ् भेटे'छ ।      

       
                                                                        

Thursday, December 15, 2011

कस्तो जाडो लागे'छ ....!


"ए बाबु कति सुतेको ?"

मेरी आमा कराउंदै मेरो कोठामा छिर्नु भयो । सिरक भित्रबाट आँखा चिम्सा पार्दै मुसोले दुलोबाट चियो गरेझैं गरि हेरेँ । आमाले पर्दा खोल्नु भयो । छ्याङै उज्यालो भएछ ।  आङ मर्काउदै सिरक खुट्टाले हुत्याउदै झ्यालबाट रानिबनतिर मुन्टो घुमाएर हेरेँ । त्यो हरित वनपनी सिरेटोको सप्को ओढेर बसेकी रहिछ । मेरो आङभरी कांढा उम्रेर आयो । फेरि सिरक तानेर खाटमा बस्दै भने," कस्तो जाडो लागे'छ "।

"धन्नको जाडो लाग्दो रै'छ "। आमा मेरो टेबलमा एक गिलास पानी राख्दै फत्फताउदै जानु भयो ।

 पसलमा दुध लिन जाँदा यकिन भो । जहिले ओठभरी लिपस्टिक लगाइ, स्टक्किङ या स्किर्ट लगाइ हिड्ने नक्कली मोरी त मुर्झाएको पालुवाजस्तो कपाल छाडेर, फुङ्ग उडेको अनुहार लिएर जिन्समा घरबाट निक्ली ! साँचै जाडो लाग्या हो अब त ।

 अफिस कामले भन्दा गफले तात्तिन थालेको छ । चिया, कफी सुरुप्प तानेको आवाज, त्यो मिठो सुरुप्प संगै पालै पालो सब्दपनी तुर्काउंछन् । कोहि आजकाल खुट्टानै तात्दैन भन्छन् ,कोही अफिसमा हिटर ताप्नै ब्यस्त हुन्छन् ।   जाडो काइता लागेछ ! यसै बहाना आफ्नो कामबाट फुर्सद नलिनेहरू पनि बेला बेलामा चियाको कप समात्दै मनका कुण्ठाहरू पोख्न आइपुग्छन । बेलुका जाडोकै कारण घर टोलमा यो सहरिया माहोलमा पनि छर-छिमेकी आगो ताप्दै एक अर्काको सूख-दुख ताप्छन । ज्यान त कति न्यानो होलानै तर मन पक्कै न्यानो हुदो हो !

 हिजो अबेरसम्म बाहिर बस्दा आज कसो कसो आँखा लागेको थियो । दुनियाँ जाडोबाट बच्न आगो ताप्दै गर्दा म आजकाल जाडो ताप्न थालेको छू ।   यो चिसोलाई जति जिउंछु, जति पिउंछु मन त्यति सितल हुन्छ । निसब्द जाडो,मनको शब्दहरू मलाई सिकाउने प्रयास गर्दै छ । निराकर रात-रजनीमा, म आफुभित्रको कोलाहललाई चिसोले साम्य गरेको पाउंछु । त्यसैले होला हर बिहानीमा नाकबाट सिगान झरिरहँदा म फुरुङ्ग परेर हिडीराखेको हुन्छु ।

 धेरै पछी हिजो एउटा बगानमा गएँ,करिब दुई बर्षपछी । बोट बिरुवा अली मूर्झाएका जस्ता थिए तर थुप्रै जोडीहरू एक अर्काको न्यानो अँगालोमा बाधिएका थिए । सोध्न त मन थियो तर आँट आएको थिएन । पिसाब गर्न जाँदा एउटा संगै छिरेको केटोलाई सोधें," यो जाडोमा गार्डन भन्दा घरमा छतको घाम न्यानो है?" "यो जाडोमा एक अर्काको सास पनि न्यानो"।  उसको जवाफले म हैरान भएँ । जाडोको मिजास पनि कस्तो !
                        
            

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dance of Devotion

It was one evening at October this year. The wall clock in my room stroke 7 pm . I stood up from my chair, opened the curtains of the window. My eyes then followed every women clad in 'sarees' and men in 'Pajamas' or 'dhoti' walking towards Iskcon temple. All those men and women had two things in common. Firstly they all were foreigners; many of them were from eastern Europe. Secondly, they all chanted " Hare Ram ! Hare Krishna !" I could not just resist my boredom and went off to see the temple. What  I saw there, what I felt and learned has transcended in my actions.It was an experience for a lifetime.

As I entered the courtyard of the temple,I could feel the faith, bhakti , chant and the dance of the free spirits. About a hundred people were sitting beside the temple. There were a group of musicians.All they were doing was singing "Hare Ram ! Hare Krishna !". There was an overflow of people. The place was so vibrant. Everyone there were chanting, singing and dancing. Some came to express their faith, some came out of devotions, some came to seek refuge, some came to feel the amazing energy and the positive vibrations, some came to release their monotony of life. I was there out of curiosity.

I did not know then that my desire would turn into a habit. I did not know how time unfolds and passes by. Every evening during my 15 days stay at Delhi, I was there. My heart took me and I could not resist. I could not resist because I saw everyone dance and I danced with them. I danced with all the strangers and danced as if I had been with them for a longtime. The ladies were dancing. The Children were dancing.All the old and young, married and single, sanyasins and worldly were dancing. There was no guide, no teacher, no instructor, nobody to tell you how to dance. But everyone were dancing in a perfect rhythm. All were dancing in union. 

My boredom was gone. I was no more alone. I was no more a stranger. I was a devotee. So, were the rest of them. People often say, dancing is an art. May be it is. What I learned was "Bhakti" , devotion is an art. When One knows how to devote oneself, dance emerges from their soul and take its form. Dance then freely.Let your legs move, free your body and you will get freed from all sorts of impurities. Your muscles become relaxed, your emotional trauma is long gone and you are open to all the possibilities. 

I even talked with many people there.I have been asking myself since that day. "Is it dance or devotion?"
They say it is devotion to the divine "Lord Krishna". I thought it requires lots of courage to come from another corner  of the world and be in union with the spirit of the people there.But it was not. I was wrong. It was devotion that brought them there. "Dance of Devotion" was what united all the souls together.


Saturday, November 19, 2011

आशै आशमा बाँचिने जिन्दगी


जीवन अजबको छ, गजबको छ । भांती भांती रंगले पोतिएको जिन्दगी; जन्म-म्रित्यु, हाँसो-रोदन, उच-निच, मित्र-दुश्मन, कुबेर-जोगी, प्रेम-घ्रिणा, सत्य-झूट, जोश-आलस्य, सफल-असफल । हाय! कति अत्रिप्त जिन्दगी । एउटै जिन्दगी जिउने हो सबले तर एउटा जीवन भित्र कति थरी जीवन बाँच्ने हो । एक चोलामा कति थरी रंग पोत्ने । कति सपना देख्ने,कती सपना बाँच्ने । आफ्नो सपनाको लागि बाँच्ने की अरुको नीम्ति बाँच्ने ।  आँफैलाई माया गर्ने की आफुले माया गरेकाहरुको नीम्ति बाँच्ने ? हरेक स्वप्ना प्राप्त हुने बुलन्द विश्वाशले जागेको जिन्दगी ! 

मरेर लैजानु त केही छैन तर जीवन भोगिरहंदा दुबिधा प्रसस्त छन् ।  आफ्नो सौखले बाँच्न पनि स्रोत-साधन सिमित छन् । जीवन अरुका नीम्ति गरेर,दिएर बाँच्छु भन्दा पनि के चाँही दिने,कती दिने,क-कसलाई दिने ? दिएर पनि अपार यो जिन्दगी । 

 बडा ताजुब लाग्छ मलाई । बैन्सको बेला बाटामा देखेको जो पनि राम्री लाग्ने । हाँस्यो,खेल्यो, ख्याल ठट्टामै,फोन गर्दा गर्दै, मेसेज गर्दा गर्दै कोहि कोहि बिना सासै फेर्न नसकिने गरि माया बस्छ । दुई चार दिन हस्यो बोल्यो, डेटिङ गयो; संगै पार्कमा बसेको अर्को केटोको मायालु मन पर्छ ! हाय ! धिक्क! धिक्क ! यस्तै बिचित्र छ हरेक पलमा मान्छे को जिन्दगी । एक ईच्छामा समर्पित हुन नसक्दा, एक प्रेममा अटल विश्वाश नहुँदा,एक इरादा मजबुद नहुँदा आम मान्छे भौतारिन्छ । उसको म्रिगत्रिस्णाको कुनै कुवा छैन । ठोकर खाइरहन्छ मान्छे,तड्पीरहन्छ । कहीले बिधातालाई गुहार्छ, कहीले भाग्यलाई सराप्छ, कैले धर्मको साहारामा अलाप्छ । एउटा झिनो आसामा अडेको जिन्दगी । 

 असम्भब त केही छैन रे !  सम्भाब्यताको खोजी गर्नेहरु लाखौँका संख्यामा विश्वको कुना कुनामा पुजिंदैछन् । त्यहि दौडमा लाखौँ अरु जित्न भागम्-भाग गर्दैछन् ।  एकजनाले एक करोड कमाउँदा, यहि संसारको अर्को कुनामा एक करोड मान्छे एक रुपैयाको लागि लाचार हुन्छ,न्युनतम आवस्यकताको पुर्ती नहुँदा !! कतिले कतिलाई दिने ? नामको लागि दिने ? अर्को मान्छेभन्दा आफु बिसिस्ट हुनका लागि दिने ? हामी के को लागि दिन्छौँ ? दिनको नीम्ति दिदैनौ, पाउनकै नीम्ति दिन्छौँ । कस्तो झुटो आसामा बाँचिने जिन्दगी !  

म फेरि पनि मेरो विश्वाश, मेरो जिउने सैली डकार्दै छु । म त निर्धक्क जिउँछु । अटल प्रेमले जिउँछु,गहिरो आस्थाले बाँच्छु । म त हाँसी हाँसी दिएरै बाँच्छु, अरुका दु:ख- सुख पिएरै बाँच्छु । म त प्रेमले जिउने केटो । मेरो कुनै ब्यक्तिलाई नाप्ने कसी छैन, झुटो सपना लेख्ने मसी छैन ।   यो सुन्दर चोला खुशी,सुख,प्रेम,सदाचार बाढेरै बाँच्छु । हरेक पल राम्रो हुने ममतामयी आसामा बाँचिरहेको छु !      

                   
           
                            






Friday, November 18, 2011

Rise Beyond Horizons..!!!

Ah! the cold winter air stings
and my heart freezes beyond the dried emotions
like the leaves of a tree
 colorless and numb.

The chilly smoky morning
so dark and gloomy
and the silence so unheard of before
the lonely grasses sprinkle the holy dewdrops on my feet
as i walk across them to the mountain

I stand here and wait for my first daylight
While the valley  wakes up for it's morning chores
frozen with thy rudeness O winter!
I stand here for my Sun to rise
For my hopes to live and play
And to see my dreams rise beyond the horizons.


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

मेरो मन त बौलाहा छ.....!


साँझ झमक्कै परेको छ । बर्द्घाटको बजारमा चहल पहल कम हुँदैछ । म होटेलको छतमा उभिएर आकाश नियाल्दै छु । सबै जना बियर र सितन संगै गफमा मस्त छन् होटेलको बैठकमा । म एकोहोरो पर क्षितिजसम्म हेरिरहन्छु । म उभिएको अघिल्तिर एउटा निकै शान्त,एक्लो घर छ । त्यहि घरको कुनै कोठाबाट मिठो बाँसुरीको धून मेरो कानमा बारम्बार ठोक्किरहन्छ । बाँसुरीको धून मिठो न हो तर मनको धून सार्है मिठो । 

मेरो मन त यस्तै छ । लह लह झुलेका धानका बालाहरुसंगै लहरिन्छ । बियरको चुस्की भन्दा बाँसुरीले जित्छ,झन आफ्नै लहडमा सोच्न थाले त्यहि लहडले जित्छ मेरो मनलाई । संगीतले मनको पक्षी जनमाउंछ अनी मन नितान्त रमाउंछ सुसेलिरहेको हावासंगै;मन एक्लै नाँच्छ म स्टेजबाट ओर्लिएर मेरो दर्सकलाई नाचिरहेको हेर्दा; अनी मेरो मन त बौलाहा पनि छ। यो बौलाहा मन कतिखेर त्यस दर्सकको हूलमा आएकी कुनै एक बैंन्सालु चिरिच्याट्ट परेकी तरुनीलाई ताक्न थाल्छ अनी मौजी सपनाहरु बुन्न थाल्छ । म कार्यक्रम संचालन गर्दै गर्दा मेरा दर्सकहरु स्टेजमा जोसिएर आउंछन् अनी कम्मर भाँची भाँची नाँच्न थाल्छन,गायकहरु झन मच्ची मच्ची गाउन थाल्छन: म दंग पारेर हेर्छु त्यो उत्साहप्रद भिडलाई तर मेरो मन त्यसरी शान्त रहन सक्दैन । मन उफ्रिएर भाग्छ मबाट अनी त्यहि भिडमा छम-छमी नाच्न थाल्छ । नाचेको मन कति राम्रो,खुसी मन कति राम्रो,सन्तुस्ट मन कति राम्रो...!! 

 मेरो मनले सोच्नै जानेको छैन । यो त फिरन्ते जोगी जस्तै छ । त्यसैले मेरो मन बौलाहा लागेको होला अरुलाई । मन्दिरको सिंढीमा बसेर केरा लुकाइ लुकाइ खाइरहेको बाँदरको भाग चोरुं भन्छ मेरो मन । एक्दम निर्धक्क सँग जिउंछु भन्छ मेरो मन । रिसले चुर भई पीटुला झै गरेर आउनेलाई मिठो बचन बोलेर,थपथपाएर मुसुक्क हांसिदिन्छ । बाटोमा राम्री केटी देख्यो भने अघि पछी उन्को उफ्री उफ्री दाम्लो फुकेको बाछी जस्तै नाचिदिन्छ । खोला देखे माछाहरुसंगै पौदिन थाल्छ,भ्यागुताहरुसंगै ट्यार ट्यार गीत् गाउंछ,गङ्गटाहरुसंगै लुकामारी खेल्छ ढुङ्गाको चेप चेपमा ।    

मेरो मन त घुलिन्छ नुन चिनी जस्तै हरेक अवस्थामा । दुखी देखे झन दुखी हुन्छ,गरिब देखे करुणामयी क्रन्दन गर्छ । म आफु त मासु खान्न । तर यो दशैं मैले मेरो मनको बाटो रोजें । मेरा बिरालाहरुलाई मासु ख्वाएं । तीनले छिमेकीको घरको झ्याल अगाडि हेरेर बसेको मेरो मनले सहनै सकेन । मेरो मन यस्तै छ; दुध चोर्न आउने बिरालाहरुसंगै लय हाली हाली म्याँउ गर्छ,जुन्किरीसंगै रातमा सैर गर्छ,ताराहरुलाई आँखा झिम्क्याउँछ अनी पर पर क्षितिजसम्म बादलसंगै लहरिन्छ । आम जिवनहरुभन्दा फरक छ, धेरै धेरै नै प्रिथक छ ।त्यसैले होला सबैका लागि मेरो मन बहुलाएको.............!!                               

Monday, August 29, 2011

म त खुशी चोर्छु....!

जीवन,जगतका बारेमा लेख्नेहरु दार्सनिक हुन भन्छन् मैल भेटेका मान्छेहरु । कोहि यिनलाई पागलहरु भन्छन् । म त यिनमा आँफैलाई पाउंछु । म Stephen Covey का  शब्दहरुलाई घोलेर पीउंछु ,सुक्रातका कथनहरु उघ्राऊंछु,गीताका बाणीहरु ओकल्छु, बुद्धका बचनहरु समाउछु अनी यिनै पागलहरु जस्तै मुर्छा परि हाँस्छु । सुखमा नी हाँसेकै छु,दुखमा रमाएकै छु,फुर्किएर मन दुख्दा पनि नाचेकै छु ।  मलाई हाँसेको देख्दा कतिले कति दंग पर्न सक्या भने, कतिले लाज पचाएको भने ,कतीले सरम नभएको भने,कतीले भावनाको कदर नभएको भने अनी कतिले कस्तो चोर जस्तो हाँसेको भने !  म त चोर हो नै । म त खुशी चोर्छु ।  

एक इमान्दर पिताको छोरो म, एक कर्तब्यनिस्ट अधिक्रितको दाई म अनी ब्रहमा, बुद्ध, सरस्वोती र लक्ष्मी समाहित भएको देवी स्वरुपा आमाकी छोरो म; म कसरी पैसा चोरु, म कसरी अपराध गरुं ?त्यसैले कसैले सबुत प्रमाण नपाउने चोर बने, कुनै कानुनले रोक्न नसक्ने चोर बने । म त खुशी चोर बने ।

 जीवन र जगतका बिषयहरु हरेक ब्यक्ति माथि रहेको  नद जस्तै अनन्त छ । त्यसको न चुरो छ, न त चुली नै । विज्ञान बटुवा हो,यसको शरणमा बेला बेलामा हान्निएर पुग्दछ अनी कनिकुथी पस्कन्छ ।  ती पस्किएका कुराहरु सोध बन्छन्,खोज बन्छन्, तीनले अविस्कार गर्छन् अनी त्यस अविस्कारले मानव जीवनको भोगाइको अनुभब बदलिदिन्छ ।  तर दर्शन बद्लिन्न । संस्कार बदलिन्छ । व्याख्या गर्ने दृष्‍टिकोण बदलिन्छ । ती पगलका दर्शनहरु दुरुस्तै रहिरहन्छन युगौं-युगसम्म ।  ती मेरा पुज्य पागलहरु,दार्सनिकहरु,गुरुहरु भन्छन् जीवन सत्य भएर जीउने,जीवन खुशीले जीउने अनी खुशी आँफै भित्र निहित कुरा हो । 

  खुशी हरेक भित्रको निहित कुरा हो भने,संसारमा दुखी किन यति धेरै उम्रिएका,जीवनहरु किन यति धेरै पिल्सिएका,मनहरु यति धेरै के का लागि गुम्सिएका? जति बिकसित समाज,उती जटिल अनी दुखी आत्माहरु; प्रेतले सताएका जस्ता!समाजहरु सुख,खुसी बिहिन कंकालहरु बन्दै छन् ।   म दंग परेर हेर्छु बाटोमा पत्नीसँग ठुस्किदै हिंडेको पतीलाई; म अचम्मित भएर हेर्छु नाकको पोहोरा फुलाउंदै आफ्नो प्रेमीसँग रिसाएर ठिम-ठिम हिंडेकी राम्री प्रेमिकालाई; म कान ठाडो  पार्दै सुन्छु ल्यान्ड क्रुइसेर (land cruiser)  भित्र  बसेर फोनमा आफ्ना प्रियजनलाई हप्काइरहेकी एक महिलालाई; म अवाक भएर हेर्छु dendrite सुंघिरहेका सडकका केटा-केटीहरुलाई;जीवन जीउन पैसा मात्रैले पुग्दैन,न की प्रेम, सम्बन्धहरु, सुबिधाहरु  :जीवन जीउन त यिनलाई सहि मात्रमा मिसाउने कला,दक्षता,कुसलता चाहिन्छ ।    

  म न त कुनै दार्सनिक हो,न पागल, न कबी, न लेखक ; मेरा न पत्रीका छन्, न प्रकाशन । म न त कारमै हिंड्छु, न कोहि एकलाई प्रेमनै गर्न सकेको छु । मेरो जीवन त कपासका भुवा जस्ता ती काला-सेता बादलहरु जस्तो छ जस्को छिद्राहरुबाट किरणहरु निस्कन्छन्; आशाका,भरोसाका,सुर्यका,सौर्यका,उत्साहका किरणहरु । जीवनका आरोह अबरोहहरुमा,उतार चढावहरुमा म ती बादलका छिद्राहरुमा खुसिका कल्पद्रुमहरु उमार्छु । 

अरु ब्यक्तिहरु खुशी खोज्न पीउँछन्,खुसी हुन सम्बन्धहरु रोज्छन्,अवसरहरु कुर्छन- म त चोर्छु । देखेजती,भेटेजती ,पाएजती,सकेजती खुशी चोर्छु ।   म अलिकति खुशी तरकारी बेचेर दंग पर्दै खर्पन हल्लाउंदै हिडिरहेको ज्यापुको चोर्छु,अली अली खुशी फोनमा मस्किदै केटालाई गफ दी'रहेकी केटीको मुस्कानबाट चोर्छु,टन्न दुध भात खान पाएपछी रमाउदै कुस्ती खेल्ने मेरा बिरालाहरुसित सापटी थोरै खुशी लिन्छु,म त सारौं जस्तै बुत्रुक्क खुशीले उफ्रिदै हिडिरहेकी क्यान्सर पीडित केटी मेरो कुरा सुनेर खित्का छाडी हाँस्छे- थोरै खुशी उस्को सुटुक्क चोर्छु ।  हरपल हर क्षण म त खुशीको  पोका-पुन्तुरा बोकेकेा मानिस,पक्षी,जनावर,प्रक्रितीको पर्खाइमा हुन्छु । थोरै थोरै खुशी सबको चोरि म धेरै खुशी हुन्छु ।                         

      

Friday, August 19, 2011

मेरी आमा : जन्मदिनको सुखद अवसरमा

"हेल्लो.. हे...हेल्लो...आमा.. !"
म त झसँग भएँ । मस्त निद्रामा थिए । आँखा च्यातेर बल्जफ्ती हेरेँ । मेरो आमालाई उनकी आमाको फोन आएको रहेछ । राम्ररी आवाज नसुनेकोले यता ऊता कुद्दै हुनुहुदों रहेछ । मेरो मामाघरे हजुरआमाको उमेर चाँही चौरानब्बे ।
 हत्तेरी गाँठे !मेरो त सुद्दी गएछ जस्तो लाग्यो नी एकचोटी त । चौरानब्बे बर्षकी हजुरआमाले जिते यो'पाली । जीउ मर्काउदै उठें ।
"ए मेरो जेठा अझै उठेको छैनौ?"  
 मेरी आमा हाँस्दै म'तिर आउनु भयो । हातमा पूजाको थाली थियो । मेरो जन्मदिनमा म उठ्नुपुर्व नै मेरो आमालाई जैले मेरो छेउमा पाउछु ।  मलाई म्वाइ खाएर सुभकामना दिएपछी जबर्जस्ती नुहाउन र पूजा गर्न लगाउनु  हुन्छ । मेरी आमा र उनको आमालाई हेर्दा देवी खोज्न मन्दिर जानु पर्दैन जस्तो लाग्छ । आमा खाट छेउमै आएर बस्नु'भो ।
"Happy Birthday आमै"। मैले लाडिएर आमालाई अँगालो हाले अनी दुबै गालामा म्वाइ खाए । आमा हाँस्दै भान्छा घरतिर लाग्नु'भो ।
मैले मेरो आमाको धेरै गुणहरु आफूमा पाएको छु । मेरो आमा जस्तै म पनि जन्म देखि साकाहरी भोजन गर्छु । मलाई अरु कुनै ब्यक्ति मांसाहारी भएकोमा आपत्ति भने छैन । तर मेरो आमालाई छ ।मेरो घरभित्र अण्डा ल्याउन पनि सख्त मनाही छ । यति मात्र कहाँ हो र ! पहाड घरमा आमा सानो छँदा एउटा टोल नै साकाहरी भएको थियो रे । मेरो मामाघर भन्दा माथि कामी टोल थियो । मामाघरको आगँन भएर कामी टोलको बाटो जान्थ्यो । उनीहरु डोकोमा हालेर मासु र रक्सी ओसार पसार गर्थे रे ! एकदीन मेरो आमाले थाहा पाउनु भएछ र रुदा रुदा बेहोस् हुनुभएछ । मेरो आमा त गाउँकै छोरी हुनुहुन्थ्यो रे ! त्यस दिन देखिबाट त्यो गाउमा  कसैले मासु खाएन रे !
 आमा भन्नु हुन्छ,शरणमा आएको भिक्षु र जनावरलाई खाली हाथ र खाली पेट नफर्काउनु रे,रिसाएको साँढेको बाटो नछेक्नु रे अनी बैगुणलाई गुणले तिर्नु रे । बैराग्य प्राप्त गरेका र भोकोलाई दिंदा करुणा र दयाभाव पैदा हुन्छ । आवेसमा आएकाहरुलाई उनीहरुकै अवस्थामा छोड्नाले आफुमा धैर्य प्राप्ती हुन्छ । आफ्नो नराम्रो चिताउनेको राम्रो गर्नाले खराब सोच र संगतबाट सदा टाढा भइन्छ रे ।
 त्यसैले होला मेरो आमा सधैं हस्नी खुशी रहन सकेको । त्यसैले होला टोल छिमेकमा मर्दा-पर्दा,चाड-पर्व,खुसी बाड्नुपर्दा मेरो आमाको खोजी हुन्छ ।    यस्ती मेरी आमाको चरणमा सदा मेरो सिर रहोस् ।  


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

लेख्छु लेख्छु भन्दा भन्दै.....

लेख्छु लेख्छु भन्दा भन्दै सेलाएछन् भावहरु 
स्रीजनामा केवल रह्यो शब्दका लासहरु 
पुछुँ पुछुँ भन्दा भन्दै बगेका आँसुहरु 
ओठमा सजियो फिक्का-फिस्स हाँसोहरु  ।।  

भन्छु भन्छु भन्दा भन्दै फुत्किएछन पलहरु 
यादमा बांचिरह्यो मुर्झाएका मनहरु 
भेटेँ भेटेँ भन्दा भन्दै टाढीएका आफ्नाहरु 
परायामै खोजिरह्यो मिठा नुतन स्वप्नाहरु ।।

पुगेँ पुगेँ भन्दा भन्दै हराएका गन्तब्यहरु 
होस्टे हैंन्से तालमै गुज्रिरह्यो जीवनहरु 
टेकेँ टेकेँ भन्दा भन्दै देखेका असिमित चुचुराहरु 
अन्तै भुलिरह्यो जब भित्रै थियो खुशीहरु     ।।

फर्क फर्क भन्दा भन्दै छिरेका मन्दिरहरु 
मुर्तीमै सिमित रह्यो प्रेम,श्रद्धा,विश्वाशहरु 
भरियो भरियो भन्दा भन्दै रित्तिएका मनवताहरु 
कात्रोहरु बनिरह्यो जलिनै रहे लासहरु ।।




  



Saturday, July 16, 2011

Being Aware

I woke up a bit early today.I did not quite feel like meditating or going for an exercise. Instead, i chose to meander around the surrounding paths of Raniban (forest name). The lush green forest with the chirping of birds flying for their first meal was quite a paradisiac. Lots of muslim men walking around, a beautiful humming sound coming from the nearby monastry, the echoes of the people doing yog asanas,Jyapus in their traditional attire with kharpan full of vegetables walking towards the morning market,people from distant places lining up in the sprout for natural water:ah! it was worth a walk and fulfilling than any other task. I could still hear the faint roar of a Leopard from the midst of that jungle.

Every morning was like this.I haven't felt this for a long time. I was too busy trying to maintain the balance in my life to feel it.For some months, i have been obsessive to achieve.There are so many like me. In fact with urbanisation and growing nuclear families, many people and family feel this mundane city life and loneliness.Eventually, the moral climate and the quality of life of modern denizens is degrading day by day just as was mine.The problem gets deeper when we keep holding to these feelings,towards people and become irresponsible to ourself. How many hours do we spend in facebook, twitter or virtual world? How much time do we keep thinking about people who really do not care about us? How much time do we spend in remorse and regret? When was the last time we fretted about our supervisor? When was the last time we smiled?

There are hundreds of questions i want each one of you to ask yourself.We have become too busy to establish a career,a legacy, relationship and so on.We keep running after everything else except ourselves. We are on our toes 24*7; to be extra-ordinary,successful,famous,inspiring.When was the last time you inspired a thought and worked on yourself?Success requires a sound mind and a sound health for general people.Have you ever cross checked your thinking patterns? How aware are you?

Yogas, asanas,meditations have become very popular campaign these days.People doing these are increasing day by day.This does help people come out of tensions,obsessions,addictions and many other physical and emotional benefits are accrued.It has helped me too.I was obsessive about a girl;a whiner of my past relationship,i kept blaming her for all the chaos in my life.I forgot that i was creator of those thoughts and not her.Meditation helped me feel good and just like other meditators i also felt i had become more aware until the day i met a monk.

This monk from Sao Paulo had travelled to monasteries of Ladakh,India before he came to Nepal.I recall the meeting with him as a cherubic encounter.He told me during the conversation that i had become a dog.I was not letting meditation help me.I had become aware of the feelings that i feel are harmful. I was welcoming familiar people,like minded people just like a dog which wags its tail to the smell it is familiar with.I was still not ready to accept my past and welcome that change to my present.But what about accepting the people and circumstances as they are?Awareness is about growing beyond your control and accepting things with the fact that they are different. Awareness is about asking the girl who does not like you for forgiveness and accepting her as she is.Awareness is about welcoming an angry man with a smile and letting him smile with you once he gets over that emotion.

Acceptance is the biggest lesson i have learnt.Accepting the fact that the rat race to success,money,fame,legacy never ends.All these are neutral means and they only enhance the pattern of life we choose to live. living an ordinary life hetherto is the most difficult for a human being.A life wherein your experiences with age and circumstances improvise you,furnish you. The monk taught me how valuable my life is. He does not regret his life but he missed my life. He missed the feeling of falling in love, the feeling that you are dating the most beautiful lady when she comes smiling in her red saffron kurta salwar in your first date; the grief of heartbreak,jealousy and the move to come out of all these. Indeed,pain beautifies happiness and longing for it; just like the darkness signifies the coming dawn.

Take a break form the monotony of life and look into yourself. The nuclear families in the urban areas need to make their community a family.Create women groups and arrange bhajan ( religious chores often bring people together) at your neighborhood. Create cooperatives and increase family and financial relations in your community.Invite them for tea and celebrate the joys of marriage,bratabandh, teej together.Give a lift to your neighbors,their kids and spouses. This is what is common in my community.

People lost in the virtual world of chatting,facebook, twitter, Mig33, blogging: come out of it once and smile with the real people. Your parents, your friends,neighbors haven't seen your smiling faces for a long time.Stop being angry at your brother for the sound of music coming out from his room while you write down the list of your favorite music in facebook. Join the wedding celebration of your relatives and neighbors; help them,congratulate them instead of blogging about how happy you really are.For all those young lovers and workaholics, it is good to compliment your colleagues and praise them and compliment them.But it is bad if you are complaining about them.Bad for yourself. Do not mix your work with your friends. Be just with them when you are with them. When you are with your partners and spouse, just be with them.This is ordinary life.This is living and inspiring to live.Accept life as naturally as it comes to you,live it the way any animal or plant has lived and the people running in the race will stop,grasp their breath,wonder and compliment at the life you are living.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

This day i Celebrate.....

"Bhanu Jayanti" has always been a festival for me.I celebrate this day every year with more enthusiasm and joy.This year also i am more than happy with the increasing readers and writers in the Nepali literature.Like every other past celebrations, this year too, i wrote a poem dedicated to him,our first poet, Bhanu Bhakta Acharya.Every year at this day, i garner a different experience.

I always wait for this day with impatience because i have a story to tell.I was a shy guy with a greater inferiority complex than other peope i have met till date.I was even afraid to ask for the permission to go to toilet with my teacher forget about asking questions and communicating with them.I have never in my life shared my feelings with anyone although they are reflected in my writings. It was a far cry for me.But i used to read a lot of novels.The first novel i read was at the age of nine.It was "Kumari Shova", and author is "Ramesh Bikal", if i am not wrong.After that there is no looking back to my reading habit.I would read all day and night  when it came to novels. Do not assume that i am studious student. I hated text books. After i finished reading a book, i used to write a story or a poem that novel would inspire me to.

One evening,a day before Bhanu Jayanti,we were playing in the rain water splashing mud at each other with gum boots beside our hostel. My Nepali teacher, Kumar Parajuli called me. I was summoned to the Nepali Department Head's Office.Dhurba Basyal sir was the department head. He looked at me with awe and asked Kumar sir," Can this guy handle this program for whole day single handedly?" I was freaking out with fear and nervousness. A smokey heat went down my spine and blood pressure went up. I was in red and blues.My teacher with such calmness, confidence and poise reiterated that i am the best candidate to master the ceremony.I didn't know what to do.So, I prepared the list of to do's during my study hour.That night was a special night because for the first and last time in my life,i worked so hard. I praticed in the bathroom till 11 O'clock.When i was planning to retire to bed, i saw one of my fren coming through a dorm.He had a huge smile in his face when he saw me. Let's get down and run after jackels, it will freshen you up and boost your confidence.So, we went down with pebbles to run after jackels that used to cry out all through night in the peripheri of our hostels.During that campaign all i had to do was cry out loud ,"It will be the best day".

The day came and the day ended also.It indeed was my day.Can you imagine the mass i was facing?This day used to be one of the biggest one day festival at Birendra Sainik Awasiya Mahavidyalaya after Annual day.The day had witnessed guests like Natikaji, Shila Bahadur Moktan and other famous people in it's past.The audience in front of me was apporximately one thousand in numbers.Every teacher lauded me and patted me.That was when i learnt it is okay to speak out.There is nothing to loose.Speak out from your heart and people will listen to you.From that day on,I never had to look back at that poor, helpless child in me.That is why,this day, i celebrate the most for being the real me................. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

An end to a Chapter

They always say that one has to end the present chapter to fully unleash the new chapter . It is true with our lives also. Our life is also like the chapters of a book. To fully experience your upcoming moments, you have to end your past chapters properly, understandbly . Do not polish your past , do not add prefixes and suffixes. It will complicate your present. Be open to the fact that nothing is perfect, no one is perfect , nothing is permanent. Accept the fact that you committed mistakes, there were shortcomings and you have become more mature.This acceptance beautifies the glory of feeling and living. This helps to add full stop to your chapter at the right time.

Confused?? Do not get confused. Well, I am talking about my past life and at the same time about blogging.I am not trying to say that i will stop blogging. But the saga of stories and poems i used to write has come to an end.I cannot stop blogging, i used to do it before i was in love. I did it when i was in love . And the breakup helped a different person in me emerge. Now, it is all about me, not about someone else.

Business empires can be built from scratches. We have so many times read articles about people from scratches to riches, from rags to new empires. But it is just the opposite with life. If you are thinking of building a new life out of scratches of past, I might not be mistaken to say that you are wrong. This will only program a bad emotional guidance system in your mind. Therefore, I am ending a chapter; to start afresh.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Emptiness Or Spaciousness....??

Past few years of my life have been a great learning period for me.Life has given unexpected,shocking surprises to me. First I failed in my attempts for fixed career,as a result of which the relationship that i treasured the most came to an end. Then periods of emotional turmoil and struggle started. It has been at one time a horrifying experience for me. Months and months of rumination and reclusion from my social life to get away from the phantoms of my past was merely enough. And the most terrifying of all was the feeling of emptiness within self.

'So, you people got it?' No. Read the above paragraph again.My life was merely fulfilled because of a girl, friends, money, relatives and the social life i had. All my life i have been trying to collect more. More of what this universe has gifted me in abundance. More love, more friendship, more money and more of anything and everything that i could possibly get. A suitable word for this is greed. At one instance i lost one of those things, i got hurt, angry, sad and i even cried. I got angry and sad when a guy dedicated one of his poems to my ex-girlfriend. I got sad when she did not recieve my calls and messages. In fact, I was frustrated about everything that was happening. Emptiness for me was a existential sickness.

We all at one time or other in our life fall into this vicious circle of collection and renunciation. Our life as such keeps moving from one extreme to the other. How many times have we questioned ourselves?Despite the knowledge that universe has everything in abundance for us all, Why do we feel the emptiness? Why is it that we feel we are living with wounds that cannot be healed?Why do we keep running after these loaded subjects?

I was so exhausted of trying to fill this empty space.However I tried, it could never be fulfilled. And i know that none of you can fill it. It is so vast, unlimited and infinite. I therefore decided to stay in silence and feel it at peace.This was a beautiful afternoon and a crazy one for me. I came home after a hectic schedule of work, freshen up and texted a message to my friend. I began to feel restless. I went to my bookshelf only to see books i have read many many times. I was getting quite frisky. I needed to channelise this energy to one activity that i was not quite sure of. Something inside me was becoming aware of an unknown. I went to the store room with the same notion. A notion that both happiness and sadness,bliss and hell, beautiful and ugly are imagination. Only reality is witnessing the conscience. Emptiness is getting lost in these webs of imaginations.Huh! I was eyeing for the cartoon where i had disposed almost 300 books. Books that live with me.I was trying to open the cartoon when something banged beside me. A cloud of dust went up in the air leaving a sick smell in my nostrils. Ah! It is the suitcase. My suitcase. A navy blue coloured possession since my childhood. I opened it. There was nothing other than dust and ruts in the chains.It was utterly empty just like me. It has so much space that i decided to store my most coveted things in it.Suddenly, to my utter surprise, I got an answer. At first, I doubted myself, then it felt weird and smile spread over my face. Yes, it is unbelievable. Only thing you need to do is change the direction of your thoughts. It is not emptiness, it is spaciousness. We have enough space to bring in the world to us. There is so much space that world becomes too small for the love, riches and beautiful moments to share and life too short to live them.

There is so much within us that when we start giving, greed, possessiveness vanishes;there is so much that it never gets exhausted. Those moments came back swirling in my head when i chanted 'panchasil' from tripitak in my school days, When bhikshyu 'Kondanya' spoke out to me with his hands over my head. Yes, those times when we listened to Bikasananda, read Osho, Khalil Gibran and all those philosophers i knew of. They were so right. Rajnis was so right when he said,"experience your emptiness so totally that emptiness itself becomes fullness."