Being Aware

I woke up a bit early today.I did not quite feel like meditating or going for an exercise. Instead, i chose to meander around the surrounding paths of Raniban (forest name). The lush green forest with the chirping of birds flying for their first meal was quite a paradisiac. Lots of muslim men walking around, a beautiful humming sound coming from the nearby monastry, the echoes of the people doing yog asanas,Jyapus in their traditional attire with kharpan full of vegetables walking towards the morning market,people from distant places lining up in the sprout for natural water:ah! it was worth a walk and fulfilling than any other task. I could still hear the faint roar of a Leopard from the midst of that jungle.

Every morning was like this.I haven't felt this for a long time. I was too busy trying to maintain the balance in my life to feel it.For some months, i have been obsessive to achieve.There are so many like me. In fact with urbanisation and growing nuclear families, many people and family feel this mundane city life and loneliness.Eventually, the moral climate and the quality of life of modern denizens is degrading day by day just as was mine.The problem gets deeper when we keep holding to these feelings,towards people and become irresponsible to ourself. How many hours do we spend in facebook, twitter or virtual world? How much time do we keep thinking about people who really do not care about us? How much time do we spend in remorse and regret? When was the last time we fretted about our supervisor? When was the last time we smiled?

There are hundreds of questions i want each one of you to ask yourself.We have become too busy to establish a career,a legacy, relationship and so on.We keep running after everything else except ourselves. We are on our toes 24*7; to be extra-ordinary,successful,famous,inspiring.When was the last time you inspired a thought and worked on yourself?Success requires a sound mind and a sound health for general people.Have you ever cross checked your thinking patterns? How aware are you?

Yogas, asanas,meditations have become very popular campaign these days.People doing these are increasing day by day.This does help people come out of tensions,obsessions,addictions and many other physical and emotional benefits are accrued.It has helped me too.I was obsessive about a girl;a whiner of my past relationship,i kept blaming her for all the chaos in my life.I forgot that i was creator of those thoughts and not her.Meditation helped me feel good and just like other meditators i also felt i had become more aware until the day i met a monk.

This monk from Sao Paulo had travelled to monasteries of Ladakh,India before he came to Nepal.I recall the meeting with him as a cherubic encounter.He told me during the conversation that i had become a dog.I was not letting meditation help me.I had become aware of the feelings that i feel are harmful. I was welcoming familiar people,like minded people just like a dog which wags its tail to the smell it is familiar with.I was still not ready to accept my past and welcome that change to my present.But what about accepting the people and circumstances as they are?Awareness is about growing beyond your control and accepting things with the fact that they are different. Awareness is about asking the girl who does not like you for forgiveness and accepting her as she is.Awareness is about welcoming an angry man with a smile and letting him smile with you once he gets over that emotion.

Acceptance is the biggest lesson i have learnt.Accepting the fact that the rat race to success,money,fame,legacy never ends.All these are neutral means and they only enhance the pattern of life we choose to live. living an ordinary life hetherto is the most difficult for a human being.A life wherein your experiences with age and circumstances improvise you,furnish you. The monk taught me how valuable my life is. He does not regret his life but he missed my life. He missed the feeling of falling in love, the feeling that you are dating the most beautiful lady when she comes smiling in her red saffron kurta salwar in your first date; the grief of heartbreak,jealousy and the move to come out of all these. Indeed,pain beautifies happiness and longing for it; just like the darkness signifies the coming dawn.

Take a break form the monotony of life and look into yourself. The nuclear families in the urban areas need to make their community a family.Create women groups and arrange bhajan ( religious chores often bring people together) at your neighborhood. Create cooperatives and increase family and financial relations in your community.Invite them for tea and celebrate the joys of marriage,bratabandh, teej together.Give a lift to your neighbors,their kids and spouses. This is what is common in my community.

People lost in the virtual world of chatting,facebook, twitter, Mig33, blogging: come out of it once and smile with the real people. Your parents, your friends,neighbors haven't seen your smiling faces for a long time.Stop being angry at your brother for the sound of music coming out from his room while you write down the list of your favorite music in facebook. Join the wedding celebration of your relatives and neighbors; help them,congratulate them instead of blogging about how happy you really are.For all those young lovers and workaholics, it is good to compliment your colleagues and praise them and compliment them.But it is bad if you are complaining about them.Bad for yourself. Do not mix your work with your friends. Be just with them when you are with them. When you are with your partners and spouse, just be with them.This is ordinary life.This is living and inspiring to live.Accept life as naturally as it comes to you,live it the way any animal or plant has lived and the people running in the race will stop,grasp their breath,wonder and compliment at the life you are living.

This day i Celebrate.....

"Bhanu Jayanti" has always been a festival for me.I celebrate this day every year with more enthusiasm and joy.This year also i am more than happy with the increasing readers and writers in the Nepali literature.Like every other past celebrations, this year too, i wrote a poem dedicated to him,our first poet, Bhanu Bhakta Acharya.Every year at this day, i garner a different experience.

I always wait for this day with impatience because i have a story to tell.I was a shy guy with a greater inferiority complex than other peope i have met till date.I was even afraid to ask for the permission to go to toilet with my teacher forget about asking questions and communicating with them.I have never in my life shared my feelings with anyone although they are reflected in my writings. It was a far cry for me.But i used to read a lot of novels.The first novel i read was at the age of nine.It was "Kumari Shova", and author is "Ramesh Bikal", if i am not wrong.After that there is no looking back to my reading habit.I would read all day and night  when it came to novels. Do not assume that i am studious student. I hated text books. After i finished reading a book, i used to write a story or a poem that novel would inspire me to.

One evening,a day before Bhanu Jayanti,we were playing in the rain water splashing mud at each other with gum boots beside our hostel. My Nepali teacher, Kumar Parajuli called me. I was summoned to the Nepali Department Head's Office.Dhurba Basyal sir was the department head. He looked at me with awe and asked Kumar sir," Can this guy handle this program for whole day single handedly?" I was freaking out with fear and nervousness. A smokey heat went down my spine and blood pressure went up. I was in red and blues.My teacher with such calmness, confidence and poise reiterated that i am the best candidate to master the ceremony.I didn't know what to do.So, I prepared the list of to do's during my study hour.That night was a special night because for the first and last time in my life,i worked so hard. I praticed in the bathroom till 11 O'clock.When i was planning to retire to bed, i saw one of my fren coming through a dorm.He had a huge smile in his face when he saw me. Let's get down and run after jackels, it will freshen you up and boost your confidence.So, we went down with pebbles to run after jackels that used to cry out all through night in the peripheri of our hostels.During that campaign all i had to do was cry out loud ,"It will be the best day".

The day came and the day ended also.It indeed was my day.Can you imagine the mass i was facing?This day used to be one of the biggest one day festival at Birendra Sainik Awasiya Mahavidyalaya after Annual day.The day had witnessed guests like Natikaji, Shila Bahadur Moktan and other famous people in it's past.The audience in front of me was apporximately one thousand in numbers.Every teacher lauded me and patted me.That was when i learnt it is okay to speak out.There is nothing to loose.Speak out from your heart and people will listen to you.From that day on,I never had to look back at that poor, helpless child in me.That is why,this day, i celebrate the most for being the real me................. 

An end to a Chapter

They always say that one has to end the present chapter to fully unleash the new chapter . It is true with our lives also. Our life is also like the chapters of a book. To fully experience your upcoming moments, you have to end your past chapters properly, understandbly . Do not polish your past , do not add prefixes and suffixes. It will complicate your present. Be open to the fact that nothing is perfect, no one is perfect , nothing is permanent. Accept the fact that you committed mistakes, there were shortcomings and you have become more mature.This acceptance beautifies the glory of feeling and living. This helps to add full stop to your chapter at the right time.

Confused?? Do not get confused. Well, I am talking about my past life and at the same time about blogging.I am not trying to say that i will stop blogging. But the saga of stories and poems i used to write has come to an end.I cannot stop blogging, i used to do it before i was in love. I did it when i was in love . And the breakup helped a different person in me emerge. Now, it is all about me, not about someone else.

Business empires can be built from scratches. We have so many times read articles about people from scratches to riches, from rags to new empires. But it is just the opposite with life. If you are thinking of building a new life out of scratches of past, I might not be mistaken to say that you are wrong. This will only program a bad emotional guidance system in your mind. Therefore, I am ending a chapter; to start afresh.