Sunday, September 16, 2012

Discovering oneself..!!

 Its been months since I left home. It was a decree of my heart. It was a sort of a  self imprisonment of two years inside the four walls of a house, a few friends and a limited time for fresh air nearby Raaniban ( a forest name under Shivapuri National Park). The end week of July, my heart decided to roam freely, on my own. I wanted to be that same old guy who enjoyed every seconds of his life, who was carefree of the opinions of the world, who believed in oneself more than anything else, who believed in love and care for others and most important of all I was the one who was never exhausted of giving. At the time, I am typing these words, In this wonderland of India, I know that I am carving my own life. Before I realize anything, Its been months I have been here.

A rucksack, one sleeping bag, few clothes, few amounts of money, few phone numbers and a bus ticket; Was that enough for me to undertake this journey? No. More than anything else, I had faith in the journey I was making. The process of self discovery should start alone.

 The world has become too ambitious. People see competition everywhere and they keep pushing. But despite all the efforts and investment, how many people succeed? We all know the answer. Very few. What is the difference between those people who succeed and those who end up living in the miseries of their memories? May be the difference lies in the process of pushing oneself while exploring our potentials. The ones who have been successful always claimed to have listened to their hearts, to their hunches, to their innermost voice. Can we call this a process of self discovery?

I had everything there. My back was against my walls. I have the most loving and supportive parents, a brother who is always there behind me, friends I can count on. But the fire was missing.  The fiery me was long dead. The drive, the passion was no more. Once again, I needed to come out of my family cocoon. Before I knew which road lies ahead of me, I have already passed days, weeks and months here. The process of self discovery is a journey of belief.

I was leap frogging. I have started jumping. Its been months I have been walking  in the sweltering heat and the sudden downpours in the vast areas of Punjab. I have met families whom I can call my own, I have met new faces whom I can call my friends. I can get lost in a crowd without being noticed. I have to be  as humble as a hermit. I can at times make faces and  wink at the beautiful ladies who pass by without noticing me. I am living many facets of my life at the same time. I can grumble at no one, no one to complain with. I am learning to solve the problems at hand rather than waste my time. Yes, I have started jumping at feet lengths of self- love, self confidence, self discovery.

I do not know how long will I stay in India. My journey has just begun. There are vast areas of land to travel,  many mountains to trek, many people to meet. We all know future is uncertain. Living with joy among those uncertainties and making the most of my present is what shapes me. There is a long way to go....!!