Saturday, November 12, 2016

Traditional love in modern marriage

" What are you doing?"

A usual message sprang up in my viber. This is how she converses with me. We have been trying to talk to each other for the last few days. But viber is the only saving grace for us. Thanks to the internet connectivity in Nepal.

I saw her only once. My parents were in a Pooja in my grandma's home. I was eating alone in my bed, watching movies which is a luxury when your parents are not home. They cannot tolerate eating anywhere else other than the dining table. They called me up to catch up with them the next day. They have seen a girl for me.

"Begum Saiba, I am talking to you."

"Oh! so you speak little bit of urdu also."

" Wife sounds little odd. Srimati ji is old people talking. Begum Saiba sounds classy, respectful. Doesn't it?"

She was like, " Oh! Ok."

A whole day journey on a bus through the dusty roads of Prithvi Highway had drained all my energy. My uncle, my nieces and my brother in law were along with me when we went to see her that evening. There were whole bunch of people. They almost knew everything about me. We talked a lot about everything else. Her brother in law reminisced about my grand father. And I thought to add something more about my grandfather.

"My grandfather loved talking to people. He loved walking around, visiting people who are nice to him. Sometimes, he would just talk to a random young lady. He would read their hands, talk about their marriages, future husbands. People loved him."

That was almost half an hour. They had not even talked about the girl I came to see. And suddenly from behind the curtains, neatly dressed in a Kurta, with her eyes shining; she entered the room.

That was the first time I saw her.

It was different. I have seen hundreds of girls on streets, admired their beauty and often looked back at them. But this time, it was different. I was blank. I was nervous. She asked few questions about my age, my qualification, my work and that was it.

As I am writing this post, at this moment, we are sharing pictures, talking about our interests, talking about love.

I have written hundreds of love letters during my days at school for my friends. I have scribbled a lot of poems on love. But this experience is different. I felt it for the first time when my Aunt from neighborhood (everyone lovingly calls her Bimu aunty. We have been neighbors for almost two decades now and have been there for each other through thick and thins.), my mother and father were busy buying make up kits and dresses for her.

She would be leaving her home and everything behind to come with me. They were therefore making sure that they bought everything from shampoos to night gowns. It was that moment when everything inside me changed. I have never ever left anything for anybody. There in front of me were my mother, my aunt who had left everything behind for their family.

As I sit here and contemplate my relationship with my to be bride, I am learning to love. For the first time, I felt like I should write a love letter. 

If she happens to read this, I think she will ( she is on my friend's list in Facebook); "My dear to be bride, I love you. I wish to continue the remaining years of my life with love!


  1. Lagey rahoo dai :) Better late than never :) .....I like it ��������